Me and Chairman Mao
  I'm b-a-a-ck.
Yes, I'm back, like poltergeist but without the evil trees, Indian graveyard, and freaky TV. Especially the freaky TV, since it will apparently take Comcast a week to get to our place to hook up our cable and Internet service. Combine that little fact--no Internet (the horror, the horror)--with the fact that I just got my computer back yesterday (a friend brought it home for us so I wouldn't have to drag it around on vacation, thank you Kyle) and you can pretty much figure out why the updates have been slight to non-existent, with an emphasis on the latter. Well, that plus the fact that I don't actually live in China anymore, but I do have a lot of pictures and random babbling (imagine) to share with you all once I, say, actually manage to take the photos (all 1,200 or so) off my camera.

So, Singapore was the last stop on our trip. I have to say, I'd heard some bad things about it--it's boring, it's too restrictive, it's really really hot because it's basically on the equator--but I have to say poppycock (what ever that means--probably something related to Michael Jackson and/or Jesus Juice)(think about it), because I liked Singapore. Granted, it was hot as hell--assuming hell had the furnace cranked up to ninety on top of the raging fires--but otherwise I liked it. It's easy to get around, the food is great, and it was really clean. REALLY clean. Like, it was so clean that when we were going to our hotel from the airport I remember thinking: "Wow, this is road is clean enough to eat off of. I mean, if you were going to eat off roads, which I don't generally do. But if I had to, this is the road I would probably do it off. And this was a freeway, which is even crazier.

Beyond the stuff we HAD to do in Singapore--that is, look at the merlion statue (half-fish/half-lion--it's a long story) and get a Starbucks Singapore mug (check)--we also went to the Singapore zoo, which was ... interesting. On one hand, it was cool because it apparently has the world's largest primate collection (well, outside of, you know, jungles) and even has a free-range orangutan exhibit, which was neat. On the other hand, we saw a lot of bodily functions happening there, which was a bit strange. I mean, I realize animals have to go to, but we not only say a tiger pee, a lion vomit, and a cheetah with diarrhea (is it just me, or does that sound like a Dr. Seuss book?), but we also came about five feet from being urinated on by one of the aforementioned free-roaming orangutans. Really, I think he was aiming for us--he had a disappointed look on his face after he missed.

Anyway, hopefully next week I'll start posting more about our trip--with pictures!, so until then .... I don't know, do whatever it is you normally do. Although hopefully that doesn't include stopping by "Panda Express: Gourmet Chinese Food!" at your local mall, because that shit looked completely disgusting. I don't know what it was, but it wasn't Chinese food, that's for sure ...
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Dawn patrol.
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Mr. Saigon.
Good late afternoon, Vietnam!
I'm outtie.
Light bright.
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Ants marching.

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Tyger, tyger. [Feeding the Tigers (!) Pictures]
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Me and Chairman Mao: The Book [The funniest book about living in China ever]

Things to Know About the 'Jing [My Beijing Guide]

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